Why gratitude is its own reward
The Roman senator and philosopher Cicero wrote that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others”. Centuries later, the American philosopher and psychologist William James claimed that “[t]he deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated”. The German sociologist Georg Simmel called gratitude “the moral memory of mankind”. Given its elevated status, it is worth spending a few minutes considering gratitude’s central place in social life and the workplace.
Grateful by nature
More than a cultural construct, research suggests that gratitude is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history. Neuroscience demonstrates that our brains are encoded for giving and receiving gratitude. Beyond humans, animals as diverse as fish, birds, and vampire bats engage in “reciprocal altruism” – behaviours that one animal performs to help another member of their species, even at a cost to themselves.
Why would they do this? Presumably because animals recognise on an instinctual level that the favour is likely to be repaid. For example, studies on primates have found that chimpanzees are more likely to share food with a chimpanzee that has groomed them earlier in the day. I scratch your back, you scratch mine – that kind of thing. So gratitude is in a sense natural, which may explain Seneca’s strong reminder: “ingratitude is an abomination”. If gratitude is natural, it is also supremely social, which is to say that it is group oriented.
Gratitude and appreciation are all about relationships
From an anthropological and sociological view, gratitude is shaped by interpersonal relationships and social interactions. Being grateful, generous and appreciative always takes place in social relationships and relates to the universal practice of gift giving. A large body of research confirms that the function of gift giving is creating and maintaining social ties. In the act of giving and receiving, people become tied to one another in a web of feelings. Although emotions are at the core of gratitude, its main function is social. By connecting people in a chain of reciprocity that plays out over time (sometimes years or even a lifetime), gift exchanges and feelings of gratitude are the basis for a system of mutual obligations among people. This is what Simmel had in mind when he called gratitude “the moral memory of mankind”. A society or organisation without gratitude would inevitably break down due to a collapse of interpersonal relations. Where there is no relationships, there is no culture, society or organisation.
Gratitude and gift exchange as a social force
Gratitude and appreciation connect people and foster continuity in social life, including at work. As the anthropologist Marcel Mauss observed in his landmark work, ‘The Gift’ (1923)[1], gift giving carries its own reward in that return gifts are inevitable (as illustrated by the chimpanzee example above). The anthropologist Arjun Appadurai further explains that because “gratitude implies appreciation, appreciation involves acknowledgement, and the only significant form of acknowledgement is return”.[2] In other words, receiving a gift or service creates a moral debt. This is why even the simple act of saying “thank you” carries a great, if largely hidden, social power.
Minding the balance of debt
While gratitude is generally seen as a positive emotion and social force bringing about community and cohesion, there are potential uses and abuses. Inspired by Simmel and Mauss, the social psychologist Schwartz (1967) introduced the concept of a “balance of debt” in which participants in gift exchanges become involved.[3] One way to exercise power over a person is to keep them indebted by over-reciprocating. Another offence is to return a gift too quickly, which is taken as a sign of ingratitude and disrespect. According to Schwartz, the balance of debt should never be brought into complete equilibrium, because this “insures that the relationship between the two continues, for gratitude will always constitute a part of the bond linking them”.
So what does the social analysis of gratitude mean for the workplace?
While practices of giving and receiving are implicit for most people, a deeper understanding of gratitude and appreciation can help employees, managers and leaders consciously form, maintain and improve their relationships. A workplace marked by gratitude and appreciation is one with a strong sense of community and ever deepening relationships of reciprocity.
[1] Barry Schwartz, 1967. ‘The Social Psychology of the Gift’. American Journal of Sociology 73(1), 1-11.
[2] Marcel Mauss, 2000 [1923]. The Gift. London: W.W. Norton.
[3] Arjun Appadurai, 1985. ‘Gratitude as a Social Mode in South India’. Ethos 13(2), 236-245.
